[FreeWriting] Jar of Stars

**sildi07** · 26-12-2017, 06:29

Jar of Stars

This is a free writing topic. Write out anything, liberate your ideas and your mind. Grammar, spelling, wording...do not matter.

Make mistakes and Write.

Let's gather our stars and create a galaxy~

**Nhe răng cười** · 01-01-2018, 00:31

Let's try to start with the right foot for a new year.

Shine. No matter how much, shine. Shine to the best of your abilities. What color to shine in, your choice.

**sildi07** · 04-01-2018, 11:00

Home. What defines "home"? Home for me used to be a place where I live with mom and dad and my brother, but then now I have lived away from my family for so long, what is "home" to me? It's true that home is a place a person (or a family) lives but I think the meaning can be more than that. It does not need to be a place I am living currently but a place I feel nostalgic toward. During these time of the year, I do miss home where my parents and my cat stay, but I also miss my friend's small studio where we spent time together almost every winter break. For me, your place is also home. Moving too much makes me feel hard to define "home", probably I need to stay in a place long enough to develope some feeling for it. But for now, let's stick with the nostalgic one.

**Arysa** · 04-01-2018, 16:13

What am I living for? I've never considered that matter before, until I accidentally read a post on Twitter about it.

Whatever you're living for, doesn't really matter. The matter here is that thing makes you want to live on, that thing is important to your life. It doesn't have to be a brilliant or a flashy reason, and it's may not even your family, it's just what you want in life.

Honestly, I don't really think I'm living for my family. Instead, I think my existence is a burden to them. I have no talent, and I don't have any so-called special thing in me. People may tell me that I'm crazy, that I'm a selfish person, a ruthless human who doesn't care about those have given them a life. But that's what I think.

When I was in elementary school, I lived for my family's pride. I was a proud child, my parents were proud of me, and all I wanted to do at that time is achieved better and better score at school, so my parents would praise me and present me what they've promised. But when I was bullied just because of that, my parents just turned a blind eyes to it and even scold me for letting it happen.

When I was in middle school I lived for my guinea pigs. They were very cute and sweet, always greeted me with their lovely squeak and curious nature. At that time my parents started to scold me more, even when I've done nothing wrong, and I didn't have any friends at school, since I was suck when it came to communicating and making friend. They were the ones who always be there for me and comforted me, and they were also my only friends. I once thought about suicide, but I regretted about leaving them here. It wasn't like I didn't think about bringing them with me, but I didn't want them to be hurt or anything else, so I threw that thought out of my mind and lived on.

When I went to high school, my guinea pigs passed away. I was deeply sad, and missed them. Fortunately, I finally made some friends at school. They were good people, and were very understanding with me. They helped me with lessons, exercises; they also laughed and feeling sad with me. At that time I thought that it would be such a pity if one day their friend stopped coming to school, telling them some jokes that could make them laugh all day. Those are my best friends, and I didn't want to let that happen.

And now when I enter college, I start to have a deep passion with stories and fictions. It's very fun to read a story, it's like we are reading the author's mind. My imagination may be too much, but everytime I read a story I feel like I'm living in it. I can imagine the world the characters live in, those expressions and feelings of the main character, and how the people around them think and act. Since my own life is not really good, it's great to see another life through another view and another mind, like I am living another person's life - the main character's life. You know, the main character of the story, so everything which is good is all belong to them. That's what makes me feel excited.

Recently, it's been a bit confused like when I am having a chat with my classmate, I want to find a topic about me to talk to them and when I start to remember some details in the past, I don't really sure if it's mine or it's of some characters in some stories that I've read before. But I don't really care about it.

It's like I'm one of them.

After all, that's what I'm living for.

**checkoutmybook** · 05-01-2018, 20:18

I don't think Homestay or even worst, staying with relatives is the brightest idea for student who study abroad. Sure it has its advantages but it also has one undeniable weakness, that is the ability to drive people crazy with jealousy. How would you feel if you lived in someone else's home? Lonely and an outsider. The parents looks after you but they'll nurse their child 100 times more careful than they do to you. You'll always feel like there's something not right, you'll feel unfair. If you said you've had a home there even when you've experienced all those feelings, you fool yourself. Certainly to some certain people the advantages outdo drawbacks. And those who can make the most use of the alien staying are likely to thrive. Sadly not everyone has what it takes to complete the mission satisfyingly.

**Nhe răng cười** · 09-01-2018, 00:32

Tired. Just tired. Go on. Must go on. Just go on.

Then again, I can't do anything but go on. Energy is a bit hard to recharge, but it can recharge.

Continue.

**sildi07** · 09-01-2018, 02:45

I don't consider myself being homesick ever, have never experienced it and thus don't understand it either. Sometimes, speaking with new comers and they say "sis, i'm homesick, i really miss my parents..." All I could do is to say "you'll get used to it." (I do miss my cat tho -'v'-) When thinking about this, probably because i'm too insensitive or i get too busy trying to adapt to the environment as fast as possible. No homesick doesn't mean I don't miss anything at home. At specific time of the year, especially the Lunar new year, I miss the atmosphere, the people, the scenery at home during those days. I cannot feel Tet anywhere except at home, in no place that Tet feels real. I wonder how people can live so long (and that long) in a foreign country and feel happy with it. May be they get used to living like that? I feel the same way sometimes too, that "used to" thing. Does getting used to something foster love for it? Not sure, haha.

**Phantom_Cat** · 03-07-2018, 15:38

My mind has been so much stress.

Did not even notice it until recently. My brain and my body are becoming weaker everday.

Cannot tell anyone about my anxiety. But that's fine, I get used to it.

**SophieDo** · 13-08-2018, 11:27

I am study TESOL now, but it is so hard for crying out loud. This weekend, I have to do a presentation and I still don't know what to talk about yet. I don't even have a topic yet, i am so dead.