[Ormond Sacker]

Sherrinford H. & Ormond Sacker



'A seven percent solution of cocaine . Would you care to try it ?'
'No . indeed.'

[Ormond Sacker]

Love

'Love is , alas , a very superficial feeling . It romanticizes normal things and makes them glorious than they actually are.' was Mr.Sherrinford H's remark when I came back to him , heat-broken and exhausted. For years , I have tried to convince him how wonderful a feeling love is and yet every time I dared to speak of that matter, he either disapproved or made fun of it in the most sarcastic way that he could.

'But-'

'There is no 'but' , my dear fellow.'_He smiled , gently_'You are a man of reasoning , Ormond . But those feelings have weakened ya , and now , you're nothing but a weak-ass pussy boy. Please , don't get angry so quickly and pray answer my question : what do you get from wanting to love and be loved ?'

I stood there in silence , trying to find an answer for this question when he interrupts my thought with a dry chuckle. His eyes filled with bitterness and disgust.

'Insults ? Disappointment ? Betrayal ? or should I say-- miseries ?'

'That's-'

'That's how the world works , my poor Ormond . We're living in a world where innocent people get stepped on for being idiots and assholes get praised for being--assholes. Have you not seen enough yourself ?'

'Yes.'

'Isn't it painful to you ?'

'Yes , Sherrinford. It's a hurtful thing to even remember .'

'Then , what's the benefit of this emotional thing ? I can assure you , dear Ormond , that the less you become attached to something the less painful you'll feel. I know you're a hot man , and once you love , you love with your whole soul but this is real life , not some Shakespeare's stupid love stories , you and me , neither of us is Romeo or Juliet. If you put everything in gambling , you stand a high chance of losing everything.'

'Then , what should I do ?'_I cried , with bitterness_'All I've ever wanted is someone to trust , to lean on every time I fuck up , someone that makes me want to protect and treasure . I love him/her and he/she loves me too. Is that so expensive a thing to ask-?'

As I cried out those words , I felt tears running on my cheeks . Sherrinford did not answer. Instead , I saw him lit his cigarette and sank into his favorite armchair after giving a long sigh . His thin , white fingers danced on my face pitifully as if he wanted to give his other self some comforts.

'Stop giving anyone more than you should give is my advice. But if you're a masochist and getting hurt is arousing to you , then I will not stop you. '

As much as a cold-hearted asshole he is , I began to think he's right.

'Mais d'ou vient l'emotion étrange qui me fascine autant qu'elle me derange ?
Je frissonne , pignarde par le beau .
C'est comme ! Dans l'âme le coutteau.'

[Ormond Sacker]

Hello, darkness.

Sherrinford is a 'rational' man. His cold and masterful personality differs him from anyone that I've ever met . And yet , there are still weaknesses in this extraordinary person. He never loves , in fact , he always distrusts the opposite sex and love in particular . To him , love and lust are not very different from each other . The only thing that distinguish them , according to him , is that love is often romanticized while lust is viewed as an ugly and sinful thing . However different people think they are , both of them continue to exist .

'You call it love , I'd call it selfishness.' was what I said to another man for risking his love's life just to stay with her. I would never expect Sherrinford to turn to me , gently smiles.

'But my dear Ormond , love and selfishness. They always go with each other , don't they ? Have you ever imagined a love without selfishness ? Or a person being selfish for something he doesn't love ?'

And yet , despite all the efforts he's made to avoid socializing at all cost, he still seeks for adventures . He's the kind of man that can't stand a peaceful life , the one that's ready to get in troubles just to feel stimulated and aroused. He loathes normality with all of his Bohemian soul and that habit of him has become increasingly dangerous.

'You need to stop this , Sherrinford . This isn't okay , you're slowly killing yourself.'_I said , put my hands on his shoulders. Both of us are wounded but neither of us cares . We stand there , look into each other's eyes. Another fight , like always , and he always wins , no matter how hard I try.

Sherrinford looks at me in astonishment . Then , with a smirk , he answers .

'You don't understand , Ormond . It's a 'le bien qui fait mal' . I'd rather end my own life than let this world destroys me. A crazy world we're living and no doubt , we're slowly losing our sanity. I wonder if I can see the sunshine anymore or what remains for tomorrow are just darkness and commonplace ? A world that we can never fit in.'

[Ormond Sacker]

Drown

'What are you seeking for , young man ? Love or lust ?'

The old lady asked with a wide smirk on her face.

'Does it even matter ?'_I answered , bitterly , for I can no longer find the difference between the two thing.

And there is no exaggeration when I said that I didn't even care , whether it's heaven or hell , all I wanted is to drown myself in that sweet but poisonous river. To feel my body slowly rotting and my mind losing consciousness. I am both the king and the servant in my dream. All the pain that I had caused for other people and for myself . All the wound I get for being an ass and all the villains that have laughed at my pain after stabbing me in the back.

I want them , all , to vanish , and I'll be back to my normal self . The one that never lets emotion overwhelm his logical senses , therefore he can never get hurt . The one that would rush anything under his feet to get that selfish satisfaction . To have the world under your feet , it's so wrong but so satisfying.

'I just want love , Sherrinford , that's all I want . Without it , I feel like I'm dying.'

I can hear his voice in my head . I can see his face in my head , crying over some sentimental things that I can never understand. I've grown tired of seeing him like that everyday . He has always said that whenever I comment on his mental weakness. But this time , he has to listen to me .

Everyday passes , I become stronger on the outside and weaker on the inside.
I simply can't drown these demons . They know how to swim.
Ha ha.

[Ormond Sacker]

Another attempt at socializing is another miserable failure.
Seriously , why do I even try ?

[Ormond Sacker]

Lost touch

He locked himself in the room , slowly injected that poison into his arm.

These emotions . These desires . He's never met them before.

He's losing his sanity . He didn't care . He enjoyed these sinful feelings. How addicting ! He's losing touch with reality. Does it even matter anymore ?

He doesn't need anymore . He's had enough to know that he can trust no one beside himself.

He hopes this habit won't become an addiction.

[Ormond Sacker]

The girls told me that I look skinnier . Happy to hear that 2 months of strict diet finally lead to some positive results.

S made up with me . I don't know whether it's because he wanted me to help him or he really wanted to be my friend again . Whatever , I don't give a damn . As long as I don't have to be awkwardly silent then it's fine !

Lover-boy really didn't give a fuck about me huh ? That's funny how I used to love him dearly but now I only feel disgusted.

[Ormond Sacker]

Thằng jackass đó cuối cùng đã có 'em' mới rồi . Vui thật. Càng vui hơn nữa là lần này mình không hề đau khổ hay giằng vặt gì cả . Tôi đã từng thích bạn , đó đã là quá khứ , bạn đã từng coi như một con lừa để bạn nhờ vả những lúc bạn cần , đó cũng đã là quá khứ . Tiếc nuối và thù hận ? Không hiểu sao mình cứ phải ứng xử ích kỉ và trẻ con như vậy . Sao cứ phải tiếc nuối một thứ đã không coi mình ra cái thá gì cơ chứ ? Sao lại muốn ở bên quan tâm một đứa tầm thường và thực dụng như vậy ?

Tình cảm không thể ép buộc cái cm gì chứ ? Đừng có tự dối bản thân mình , mày có nghĩ đến tình yêu không khi mày theo đuổi cô A , cô B hay cô X ? Đừng có lấy tình cảm ra để viện cớ cho dục vọng của bản thân mình , nghe tầm thường và giả tạo đến buồn nôn.

Chỉ trách tao là một con lừa ngu ngốc . Tình yêu không có , dục vọng cũng không thể , cái tao nhận được chỉ là đau khổ , cứ tưởng một câu 'cảm ơn' là đủ à ? Mày nghĩ mày là ai ?

Cunt.

...

Con gái mạnh mẽ thì được coi là sắt đá và buê đuê . Nực cười vcl. Tao mà là buê đuê thì tao càng mừng dữ đấy vì tao không phải mỏi mắt tìm một đứa thông minh để yêu giữa cái bọn ngốc bọn bây. Chị mày thích mặc suit vs jeans đấy rồi sao ? Tao còn muốn học boxing và bắn súng nữa cơ . Đéo nữ tính chút nào nhỉ ? Rồi rồi giờ câm cái miệng lại được chưa ? Ồn ào nhức lỗ tai vcl.

Và nói lại lần cuối , tao đéo phải gay . Yếu quá thì câm đi.

Cunt.

[Ormond Sacker]

I met you , my old friend, this beautiful morning.
You've changed so much I wonder where those days have gone ?
Oh , how I miss the time when we're so young and innocent .
A place...
Where there is no misery or selfishness .
People don't play those hurtful games.
I don't become so coward and hateful.
Only...
Smiles and tears in the beautiful sunshine.
Linger with those lovely memories.
We held hands and ran around the tree.
A simple but priceless thing called 'friendship'.
I love you and you love me too.

[Ormond Sacker]

Fucked up

#1

Never before have I done such a disgusting thing . If that scumbag finds out , she's gonna go crazy. Oh sis , you and I have never been in good terms . Ever since we were little girls , we've argued a lot . I used to love you in some kind of stupid ways but thanks for your being such a fuckin asshole , now , that weak feeling has turned into hatred and disgust. You're a basic bitch while I am sick and twisted in the mind.

But you should've known that I am not , by any means , a person for you to mess with . You wanna act like a cunt and annoy everybody around you ? Just do whatever the fuck you want , I don't think I'd even care if a car ran over you on your way to work . I doubt that I would give a shit if one day, I heard that you had died and was probably rotten in hell .

You're a queen in your own delusion , my girl , and you can continue to masturbate , whether it's to boost your low-ass self-esteem or to help you feel better about yourself, but the moment you started to treat me like that , to humiliate me with that manner of yours , you know that my feeling has faded and I'm not gonna sit here and let you be a cunt anymore.

However disgusting it is , this is just the beginning . I'll probably burn in hell too but who gives a fuck ?
To be able to tell you in your whore face that you're a cunt is the best thing that I'll ever have.