[ZenjitsuOshan]

Lol, talk about first 'kisses', mine was with my mom, wait, wait, let me explain: whenever i cried, she always did this loud out-of-nowhere smooch, making me burst into laughing (along with the 'war whoops') like a silly kid I was.
But it is frustrating when you're forced into laughing from an polar opposite tantrum all the time.
Does that count tho...

I cant even tell if you were serious about this elope thing.
Oh well, again, its good that you dont like this girl that much and decided to not get involved, its better that way.
I had only been taking the devil's advocate since you seemed to be THAT fond of her, but turns out you dont, so its unnecessary to do this anymore, moving on.

Last straw:
>"find him and kill him"
Now why would you?

[Scarlet Lady]

or maybe it's about a vague affection, it's hard to tell
talking about first kiss, it was a forced on for me, kind of like those chinese romantic novel, with those they call "soái ca" -_-

[Do No Evil]

I cant even tell if you were serious about this elope thing.

Of course not.

All I want to say is
if this girl's personality is like mine and like what I imagine her to be then it will be easier to get along with her, if we ever have a relationship.

but it turn out she is not,
she is not gonna put up with the fact that I'm an antisocial freak who don't use FB and barely text, who enjoy these obscure games, cartoons and musics no one know existed, whose idea of fun is complete alien to normal people, etc and etc

I don't want to mold her against her will to be something she is not. That takes away all the fun.

The future will probably what I imagined it to be so it's better to stop here.




The killing things was just a joke. I am not that pure.

[ZenjitsuOshan]

Hmm...normally, i wake up at 6am, since today I did at 4 and went back at 6, shouldnt it be compensated by waking up again at 8? But it didnt, its 11 now...

Where did that "extra" 3 hours of sleep come from...

it was a forced one for me, kind of like those chinese romantic novel, with those they call "soái ca"

If you are comfortable enough, then i'm all ears, go on.


I see, I see, ah haaa. I told you already, I didnt even think it would work even before the "revelation".

So while i dont like the way you just draw everything out in your mind immediately, I argee with your decision, not for the same reason, but same conclusion anyway.


Edit: I'm worse at math than i thought.
Edit2: really really bad.

[Do No Evil]

If she can get a 8.0 after this course then she will be on her way to study aboard in Australia in September.

Such cosmic trolling.
What decision ?
My little romance was dead before it even began.

[Scarlet Lady]

I'm not sure if it's interesting, just taken by surprise and all, and the relationship was not long either, just being too different

Evil, have a feeling you've got conflict inside

[ZenjitsuOshan]

I'm more interested on the "soái ca" part, why people call him that...

Come on, its fking obvious. He's scared of what's to come, so his mind tried to rationalize this by coming up with something to dislike about her, a way out.
But it didnt work, he's still fond of her, so then he told himself the "its not really hers what you like" bullshit, further "proving" the possibility of said future.

He knows he cant and doesnt want to do anything about it so let's "destroy" her and this bond instead. Stripping everything of its weight and importance, trivialize em.

Now's the process of lament and self-assuring, or the "stripping", possibly literal.

[Scarlet Lady]

ah sorry for confusing you
he's not called "soái ca", just the way he kissed was like how they describe it with that kind of character in those novel T_T

[Do No Evil]

I just found out yesterday that she's planing to go aboard next academic years aka September
I thought that wont come for another two years

Im sorry for not exactly being a reliable narrator

So the whole things is this
Im conflicting but I haven't done anything stupid. I still keep our relationship purely professional.
I don't really avoid her or anything.
but I haven't made a move either.

So if I made a move by asking her out then the reality is: We will probably have some good time till September and that's it.
I admit the whole Kpop things is my excuse but this is not
I can't really expect her to wait for me after 4-5 years abroad now can I ?
The last time I tried this long distance things it ruined my life.

So I would rather not having any deep attachment to this and move on with my life.

[Cigarette]

You ok bro?

Relationships are always nice to have, no matter how short. Also you got that backward: you're the one who would have to wait.